Two words: Exciting. Humbling.
Not too long ago I got an email with this subject line: “Winner Notification, 27th Annual Pastel 100.”
I actually didn’t open it right away. I had received similar emails before for Honorable Mention awards in past Pastel 100 competitions. I figured my result would be about the same this year, and I was busy with something else at the time, so I went back to what I was doing.
Then an hour or two later I got around to opening the email…
“Congratulations! I’m very happy to tell you that your pastel painting, Unfolding, has won the Pastel Journal Founder’s Award, our top prize, in the 27th Annual Pastel 100 Competition!”
It actually took a few minutes to process. I first read “Pastel Journal Founder’s Award,” but didn’t know what that was, so while my brain was focused on figuring out what that meant, I read the rest of the email, and then I went back to the top, and finally found the explanation right there in that first paragraph:
“…our top prize…”
Uh… what!?
When you see people win stuff on TV they jump around excitedly shouting and smiling.
I didn’t do that.
Partly it’s just not my personality to do that, and mostly I was in SHOCK. How could I have won? There are so many incredible pastel artists who submit multiple pieces for this competition. Professional artists. Pastel painting legends. How? Really!?
Reading the email again…
Well, I guess it happened. That’s my name and the name of my painting and my address they want to confirm so they can send the prize.
So acceptance and excitement gradually seeped into my mix of emotions, along with the lingering humility. I don’t know if that’s the right word, but it’s the best I can do.
Yesterday I received my copy of the Pastel Journal magazine, the special issue that contains all the awards, and included a six-page spread about me, my winning piece, and my artistic practice.
The excitement and humility hit me again, even though I’ve known about the award for a few months.
The humility, or whatever I should call it, hit especially hard when I saw the other absolutely amazing works of art that were honored in the issue. And maybe that means “humility” isn’t the right word, exactly. Maybe it’s mixed with intimidation or something. Does my work really deserve to be there? I’m proud of it and I like it (usually), but first place?
I will need to learn to listen to what others say about my work. Not too much because criticism can kill your creativity. And sometimes positivity can be too glowing, or put you in a place where you feel like you don’t need to improve. But balance it important.
The judges gave it first place. I’ll take it.
“Unfolding” | 24″x18″ pastel landscape painting on archival sanded paper.
4 Comments
Melissa
Once again, congratulations on this award…so exciting for you!
Clint Howard
Thank you so much!
Susan Mandl
This is fantastic news! I must say I got a lot out of the classroom this painting was in. Congratulations!!
From Sue Mandl
Clint Howard
Thank you!